Why I Am Not Ashamed Of My Selfies.

As some of you know I just moved to California. Settling into my new home and new job has left me small amounts of time to attempt the ol’ making friends thing. Also I am not very motivated. I tend to enjoy being a little on the antisocial side. However, I was looking at my instagram last night and I thought shit, I need to get some friends, I have been posting way too many selfies lately.  Then I took a second to really think about it. First of all, why do I really take all of these selfies? What is the purpose behind it? And secondly, why am I so embarrassed about it?

So I thought… and I thought some more.. I realized that I take these selfies when I am bored, and when I am doing something fun I want to share with people. I don’t think there is anything wrong with sharing fun things that I am doing like gardening or reading in a park or whatever. The “me being bored” reason caused me to think a little deeper. Yes, I do it when I am bored, but why would I choose it over say, watching a tv show? I think it comes down to this one sentence:

Selfies make me feel good about myself and I am not ashamed of doing things to make myself feel good.

Walks make me feel good too, so I take walks sometimes. Writing makes me feel good, so I do that sometimes. Yeah, I might tweak my angle a little bit to make myself look better but guess what? I look at that picture, and I genuinely think to myself- “Damn, I am cute today”.. and guess what again? That will probably the only time I will be confident about my appearance for the entire day. That’s right I said it. I am a self-declared feminist and still I hate my body and appearance sometimes. Like, a lot actually. I am super insecure about my weight and yes I hate that I am insecure about these things because I am supposed to be a body-loving, chub-embracing feminist but guess what? It is fricking hard sometimes. It is a journey, something I work on every day. I want SO badly not to care about what my shell looks like. I truly spend so much time trying to love that shell, but sometimes nothing helps. Sometimes the only part of the day I feel confident is when I look at that iphone. It sounds pathetic, but I am done feeling pathetic about it. It shouldn’t be pathetic! We live in a world that tries to tell us we are not good enough EVERY DAY so we HAVE to find ways to fight that. One of my ways, is selfies. Boom.

So there you go. That is why I am not ashamed of the million selfies I post. It gives me a boost of confidence and I am not embarrassed of needing a boost of confidence every once in a while. If someone bases their whole worth on how many likes their selfies get, then we get into a tricky area. There we have people determining their entire self value on appearance and obviously I don’t want that, I am just saying that I am sick of feeling embarrassed about looking at a picture of myself and being happy with what I see.

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^^ Before I shaved my head in January.

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5 thoughts on “Why I Am Not Ashamed Of My Selfies.

  1. I appreciate your thoughts about this because I sometimes wonder how the “selfie generation” of women will mature into ages where other things (like tiny, needy humans) become the focus & middle ages when one’s interior self may (again, or just more so) become the focus. I have only a handful of selfies & haven’t taken millions of photos even while traveling the world, & I find my memories & my thoughts are just as profound or perhaps even richer for not being over-processed via selfies as they take up residence in my brain. Selfies by their very nature are certainly increasing narcissism in our culture, which in turn presses body image problem buttons. I’m grateful that I’ve been a lifelong athlete, which I credit with keeping me from having body image issues, but I hope your selfies continue to only make you feel good about yourself. It’s evident that your internal spirit is just as glorious as your external “shell.” (Tangent: At an earlier point in my life I, too, switched from having long, gorgeous hair to a shaved head, which was an exercise in liberation & image control & a lot of other strong outcomes.)
    Love from your cousin though we’ve never met–yet!
    Kris

    Like

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